June 20, 2012

We Are Young.

I often wish that I could forever be at one age. Quite frequently I want to go back in time so that I could be a kid again, having no responsibilities, no job, and not worrying about anything but running out of Lisa Frank pencils. Gah! Lisa Frank, she is was the bomb. Summertime felt like it came around every decade and it was a time of pure bliss. Summer when I was little was the best time of my life and it was something I looked forward to every year. I suppose that I still look forward to summer break coming around, but it is not even near to the same thing. Now a days I pray just to make it to summer break because that means I survived yet again another semester of exams. Then once the dream of a perfect, lazy summer wears off, I am brought back to reality. I begin working what feels like countless hours in an office and any free time I do have, I am completing workout regiments and soccer drills to get ready for the season come fall. I have grown up, and I don't like it. My day consists of working, working out, eating, and sleeping. I no longer have absolute fun like I used to. I would give anything to go back to the summer of my freshman year of high school. I was rebellious, wild, free, and eager to grow up. What was I thinking? I didn't really have a summer job then, unless you count babysitting. I was able to do whatever I wanted. I could stay out late, sleep into the afternoon, lay by the pool, sneak out, party, and do other crazy things that kids like me do. Summer then was perfection, it was ideal. Now, I dread the mornings because they lead me nowhere but to work.

Then sometimes I just say to myself, fuck it. Sorry to those who may be offended by that. But seriously, fuck it. Fuck going to work early, fuck soccer training, and fuck doing nothing at night because of my day in the office. I am still a young kid, but I am acting like I am married with kids. I need to let loose and have a little fun, just like I used to before the word "responsibility" really set in. The crazy shit that I have done, those are the best memories and I want to make more of them. I want to be out late for nights on end, I want to show up to work in the morning with a hangover, I want to lay by the pool all day long, I want to drive back roads late at night while listing to my music a little too loud. I want to be untamed and free. I mean, I am a kid; it's my time to do it.

Oh. And yeah, I am writing this while sitting in my desk at work.

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