I often wish that I could forever be at one age. Quite
frequently I want to go back in time so that I could be a kid again, having no responsibilities,
no job, and not worrying about anything but running out of Lisa Frank pencils.
Gah! Lisa Frank, she is was the bomb. Summertime felt like it came
around every decade and it was a time of pure bliss. Summer when I was little
was the best time of my life and it was something I looked forward to every
year. I suppose that I still look forward to summer break coming around, but it
is not even near to the same thing. Now a days I pray just to make it to summer
break because that means I survived yet again another semester of exams. Then
once the dream of a perfect, lazy summer wears off, I am brought back to
reality. I begin working what feels like countless hours in an office and any
free time I do have, I am completing workout regiments and soccer drills to get
ready for the season come fall. I have grown up, and I don't like it. My day
consists of working, working out, eating, and sleeping. I no longer have
absolute fun like I used to. I would give anything to go back to the summer of
my freshman year of high school. I was rebellious, wild, free, and eager to
grow up. What was I thinking? I didn't really have a summer job then, unless
you count babysitting. I was able to do whatever I wanted. I could stay out
late, sleep into the afternoon, lay by the pool, sneak out, party, and do other
crazy things that kids like me do. Summer then was perfection, it was ideal.
Now, I dread the mornings because they lead me nowhere but to work.
Then sometimes I just say to myself, fuck it. Sorry to those who may be offended by that. But seriously,
fuck it. Fuck going to work early, fuck soccer training, and fuck doing nothing
at night because of my day in the office. I am still a young kid, but I am
acting like I am married with kids. I need to let loose and have a little fun,
just like I used to before the word "responsibility" really set in. The
crazy shit that I have done, those are the best memories and I want to make
more of them. I want to be out late for nights on end, I want to show up to
work in the morning with a hangover, I want to lay by the pool all day long, I
want to drive back roads late at night while listing to my music a little too
loud. I want to be untamed and free. I mean, I am a kid; it's my time to do it.
Oh. And yeah, I am writing this while sitting in my desk at
work.
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