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I found this online and figured it was appropriate to share. Enjoy it. Love it. Learn from it.
"Dear Fellow Female Population,
Stop being such pussies.
Really.
Do you understand how painful it is for me to go on Pinterest with all of you bitches on there? I just want to login really quickly and find a good mixed drink recipe for the weekend, and I have to see all of you crying and complaining all over the place like being a girl is the biggest fucking travesty in the world and no one understands you. This goes for Facebook and Twitter as well. Why are all of my social media accounts clogged with song lyrics, passive aggressive insults, and inquiries on where all the good guys have gone? You are no longer emotional teenagers that don’t understand how stupid you look, so you no longer get a pass for this ridiculous behavior. Time to man the fuck up, bitches. Because, honestly, you’re all agonizingly dragging our gender to the ground. I’ve taken it upon myself to give you a list of a few simple things to do that will help you stop sucking so much. You’re fucking welcome.
1) For the love of God, please stop wishing that you could date Christian Grey. Apart from his sexual skills, he is one of the biggest pussies I’ve ever read about. Seriously. When Ana first described his dick, I literally spit out my drink, because I’d been assuming he actually didn’t have one. It took me by complete surprise. While I enjoyed reading most of the sex scenes, it was totally not worth it when the rest of the book made me want to puke all over my Kindle. I’ll just watch sub/dom porn and spare myself from all the Christian – Ana bullshit you all seem to be obsessed with, thank you very much. Why do all you ladies want someone who stalks the shit out of you and becomes weirdly obsessed with you and has a super gay interest in classical music? Because, let’s face it, ladies, you can pretend all you want that you’re classy like that, but we all know the last time you listened to Mozart was in your 5th grade music class. Get over yourselves. And get over 50 Shades of Grey. It’s pathetic.
2) Stop acting like being a female is so fucking difficult. “We get paid less, no one takes us seriously, blah blah blah.” Maybe if you pulled your heads out of your asses, people would take you more seriously. I’ve found being female to be one of the easiest things on the goddamn planet. Let’s start with the obvious one. Free shit. All. The. Time. You want to know how much I spend every weekend on booze? Just the cost of my cheap pregame bottle. Then I stroll into a bar, and let the drinks start flowing my way. Sorry, but I’d rather get free drinks from hot guys all night long then get paid 10% more at my job. And if you disagree, you obviously need to check your priorities. Another great female bonus? Sex. Guys love being dominant and you should love it when they are. It makes everything so much easier for us. They tell you what to do, and you do it. It always feels good, and you don’t have to think about anything. To me, that’s fucking awesome. No wonder so many guys have performance anxiety.
3) One of the most annoying things to hear is “Why can’t I just find a guy who loves me, cuddles with me, buys me pretty things, and will turn the game off to talk about my day.” Oh my god, do realize how ridiculous you sound? That’d be like guys posting statuses that say “Why can’t I just find a girl who will fuck me like a porn star every few hours throughout the day, cooks every meal for me, brings me beer when she comes home, and disappears when the game’s on.” Yes, it’s a nice fantasy, but that’s all it is. A fantasy. So stop acting like there is some guy out there who is like that, because even if there is, chances are he’s either extremely boring or gay.
4) Stop taking everything so seriously. You are in college. The fact that you all seem to be on some quest to find a boyfriend is just pathetic. Why do you want one? Now’s your chance to fuck the guys who are complete assholes, but you can tell they’re good in bed. Look past their douchebag frat-y style and attitude for a few hours at the bar, go back with them, have a great fucking time, then get the hell out and don’t talk to them again. You didn’t use them for their minds; you used them for their body. Realize that, and respect that.
Well ladies, I could go on, but I feel a little guilty for tearing apart my own gender, so I’m done. Think about what I said, though. And remember, every girl should choose a Christian Louboutin over a Christian Grey. Pumps over pussies."
I am sitting here on a Sunday night,
procrastinating it up like a pro. Actually, I am pretty far ahead in most of my
classes, except one. It's an 8AM so it's a rough one. So far this semester, I
am loving all of my classes, which include: Graphic Design III, Digital
Photography, Advanced Drawing, Health and Ethics of Society, Computer Literacy,
and The Study of Alaskan Eskimos.
Computer Literacy is a bird course I need as a gen
ed, that I probably should have taken my freshman year, but didn't. And as for the
Alaskan Eskimo class, I don't know what to think about it just yet. It is a lot
of busy work. Though, I am just taking it because it is an upper-level and I
thought it seemed kind of interesting. Okay, lets be honest, I need
upper-levels to graduate on time and it was the only one that fit into my
schedule that sounded like I wouldn't break my GPA.
The point of this blog though is to A. get back on
my feet in the blogging world and B. because I am currently writing my
roommate's paper. Well, she is technically writing it, but she is having me
revise it, and everything is borderline horrible. So, I am just rewriting the
whole thing paragraph by paragraph as she is typing along. I must give it to
her, I have never seen anyone try to hard and still write an awful paper.
I by no means hold my head high and think I am all-knowing grammatically
or a wanna-be-english-major. I am sure it shows in my posts. Actually, I may be the worst speller on the planet, better yet, universe. I am the worst speller of all time. However, I am
confident enough that I can, indeed, write a pretty compelling paper. Right now
she could use any help that she can get. And coffee, she needs a whole hell of
a lot of coffee.
I’m such a good friend. And I kind of like writing papers.
I figured since I have been the utmost, worst blogger on the face
of the plant, that I owe it to myself and my readers (which I realize probably
consists of no more than three people) a post about my life. I will give you a
speedy-quick recap of my life.
Weekdays: Class, Eat, Class Again, Soccer Practice, Eat, Sleep
Weekends: Bus Ride, Eat, Soccer Game, Eat, Sleep, Rest ALL DAY SAYURDAY
& DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING PRODUCTIVE (aka sleep/watch lifetime), Eat, Soccer
Game, Eat, Drive Home (attempt to sleep on the bus)
Can I tell you though; freshman boys (at least this new group we got
this year) are the most annoying species on the face of the planet. They never shut up. Ever. The end.
Today, I woke up early in hopes that I could actually look like a human
being instead sharing a close resemblance to a homeless man holding a sign on
the side of the road. I even curled my hair and put on lipstick, so you know
shit got real. But, of course I don’t know how to manage my time when I
actually do want to prove to the world I own other things besides t-shirts and
that I can brush my hair. I ended up being 20 minutes late to my 8am class.
Have you, the only class I have on Tuesdays and Thursdays is my 8am class. What
was I thinking?? Anyways, I strolled into class 20+ minutes late, and what do
you know, no one showed up except the professor and I. Damn it.
Also, these pictures I took in the mac lab, since no one showed up and I wanted to share with you proof I dressed up.
Awkward moment, when you are taking the photos in the lab and the cute boy that sits next to you shows up. And you are writing a blog. Gah.
"Change, more than anything else, is what the human mind fears the most"
This past summer, this unbelievable, dream of a summer, has sadly come to a close. I thank those who took part into making this summer fabulous. I will forever remember days spent out on the boat, late night sushi, memories in the city, time spent with friends, and much more. I have loved this summer and I am sad for it to end, though I am ready to go back to school.
But, leaving the summer behind is a form of growing up. The night before I left to go back to school, I had a slight breakdown (thankfully Nick was there to calm my nerves). Time finally caught up to me and made me realize how much life has changed, how much I have changed. I was leaving home to more into an apartment, making it my last night at home. My last night in my own bed, my last night with my family, my last night with my friends. However, the only thing I could bring myself to do, was to sulk in my bed and cry. I knew this year was going to be so much different from the rest. I was now, officially on my own, I left my nest. My mom is now in the process of changing my childhood room into a room for my youngest brother. My pink room will be turned into some boyish color with a new boy-like bed spread and all of my pictures, earnings, and trophies will be removed from the walls and shelves. It is no longer my room, I no longer have my place.
I am leaving behind my home, my best friend, and my boyfriend. My best friend will be leaving for Spain at the end of the month for 10 months, and I have not yet come to terms with that. I will be missing her 21st birthday and she will be missing mine. I won't be able to send her random texts, discuss HP life lessons, phone her when I need some clarity, or bid her off when she is leaving for the biggest adventure of her life thus far. Please don't take me the wrong way, because I am unbelievably happy and excited for her. It is going to be such an experience and she is going to love every moment of it. Spain is where she is supposed to be. Maybe she will even find a Spain boy out there (I hope she does, she deserves a great boy). It just sucks to be away from your best friend for that long, I am already dreading it and she hasn't even left yet.
Coming to terms with all I am leaving behind I hit a wall running at full speed. I was put in my place, the place where you realize you are growing up and you can't stop it. I don't want to grow up. I am not ready to give over my room, I am not ready for my best friend to leave for Spain, and I am not ready to be away from my boyfriend. I am not ready to be away from Nick, to test our relationship. I liked summer, I liked where we were. This summer taught us a lot about ourselves and each other. He is one of the most beautiful beings I have ever grown to know. I love this boy, not only as my boyfriend, not only as a friend, but I love him as a person. He has changed and shaped me in ways I have never thought were possible. His patience and heart, is something I admire most about him. I know that things between us will be stretched and tested while I am in school. Especially since right now being the busiest time of my life, considering I am a fall collegiate athlete with a full class load and a job. But I know that must there ever be a time where I am having doubt, second thoughts, insecurities, he will be there to pick me up and clear my head and I will forever be thankful for that. I will forever be thankful for him.
I am trying to come to terms with letting go of things you cannot change: life. Life is forever changing and there is no stopping it; it's a constant moving train with no place to get off. It hurts to grow, it hurts to accept change, and anybody who tells you it doesn't, lied. Sometimes, the more you change, the more things stay the same, and sometimes, change is everything.
I am currently an intern working for a company
called trustaff. We have entered into The Business Journal's Social Madness Challenge. We just recently beat out everyone in our city bracket and have
moved onto the National Competition! This is where you come in. We need your
help, I need your help. If you could take a moment and vote for us, I would
greatly appreciate it! We are listed on the Social Madness bracket under "Medium Companies" and are location on the right side, 3rd bracket down. You can vote for us there, like us on Facebook, follow us on twitter, and connect with us on LinkedIn. Help a sista out please! I will send much love your way if you do!
For as long as I can remember, I have despised tea. I hate
all tea, any kind, any flavor. I have tried it multiple times throughout my
life and my taste buds have refused to shift. It wasn’t until recently that I
have actually wanted to like tea. I want to shop around and buy different flavors;
I want to sip on it during the day; I want to blog about it; I WANT TO LIKE
TEA. I have tried to convince myself to like it, but it doesn’t work. Honestly,
I am jealous of all you tea drinkers out there. I am envious of your perfect
mug filled with assortments of herbal teas. I wish I liked tea because, quite
frankly, tea makes you cool!
A couple weeks ago some friends and I traveled to downtown
(you can read about the visit(s) here) and we stopped by the local fine tea
shop. There were hundreds of tea
options to choose from. I loved being surrounded with the aromas and smelling
all of the herbs.
I ended up falling in love with one of the teas, Caramel
& Almond Black Tea, and besides my great odium for tea, I bought it. It was
so out of my element, but I was determined to try it.
So tonight, I finally built up the courage to make myself a
steaming cup of it…and…I LOVED IT. One of The Bests told me to add milk (which
I substituted for half and half) and sugar. It was perfect. This is the first
baby step on the journey of accepting the greatness of tea.
I give all of my thanks to Churchhill's Fine Teas for turning my taste buds in the tea direction. Check them out, I promise you won't be unsatisfied.
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