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I guess now would be an appropriate time to fill you in on
my life. College life makes me such a bad blogger. Oops.
In a nutshell, I have been just living the life. Soccer
finally came to a close, which I am not mad about. I actually have a taste of
free time now. I started working regularly again; goodness I am so happy to be
working. I have always been one of those odd people who likes to stay busy and
work. Weird I know.
This past semester has taught me a lot about myself. I like
the fact I am figuring out my place and meaning in this world. It’s a content
feeling. Here is what I have discovered so far –
One. I am a pretty moody person and little things irritate
me that probably shouldn’t. On the contrary, I am easily satisfied. It doesn’t
take a whole lot to make me happy. I like being happy. Most importantly I can
make myself happy. I have always considered myself a pretty independent girl,
but it wasn’t until these past couple of months that I realized how independent
I actually am. I don’t need anyone to be happy; a person does not define
happiness. You, yourself, create your own definition of bliss.
Two. My family and friends are my biggest support system.
Without them I would not be where I am today. Not until recently have I truly understood
how much these people mean to me. I have found out who my friends are. When I
was younger I loved being friends with everyone. Now, I have my friends, a
select few, and that’s enough for me. My parents go above and beyond for me and
their words of wisdom keep me pushing. My brothers and I have grown closer than
ever, especially the relationship with my oldest brother. He is my best friend.
My family always knew I had a curious soul that wanted to explore everything
the world has to offer. I never thought I would be one to get homesick, but I
find myself missing home more and more as the days go by. I think I realized
that I am growing up and sooner than later; I will have my own place to call
home. Until then, let me be homesick, stock up on toilet paper, have my mom do
my laundry for every visit home.
Three. I have had a hell of a life. These past few years
have been some of the best years of my life and I have made great memories.
There is not one regret.
Four. I truly have no idea what I want to do with my life. After
college, I don’t know what I want to do or where to go. This terrifies me.
Five. I have a wall a mile high that I force people to crawl
over. For those that have endured the challenge, they found how big my heart
is. Those people, I would do anything for.
Six. I hate doing dishes. And bills.
In occasion of the new Lifetime attempted remake of Steel Magnolias and my obsession with reading the EINTKILF from HelloGiggles, I decided to share what Steel Magnolias has taught me. Growing up, the older women (grandmother, mother, aunts, exc.) would watch this at
every family gathering that had a television set available. It was beat into my
head as a small child that this is the ultimate chick flick. Me having only one
fixation at the time could have cared less to watch some movie that always
ended the same, a swarm of women crying. As I grew older, I was sucked into
watching it and soon enough it became my favorite movie. I learned a lot from
those six women with the thick, southern drawl. Now I may or may not be guilty
of watching Steel Magnolias multiple times a day. Oh, my fixation was Barney by
the way. I have made a major improvement since then.
1. You cannot remake Steel Magnolias.
First and foremost, I was utterly appalled when I first heard
about the remake. I wanted to cry, actually I may have cried. The original cast
was a recipe for success with the actress lineup. I mean with Sally Field, Dolly Parton, Shirley MacLaine, Julia Roberts, Daryl Hannah, and Olympia Dukakis all wrapped in one movie, they set the bar high for anyone who wanted
to think about remaking it. You go Herbert Ross. Basically it needs to be a
written law that no one can remake Steel Magnolias. Nice try Lifetime. Better
luck next time remakers.
2. Pink is every
girl’s signature color.
Who would have thunk it, there is a difference between blush and
bashful? I guess women to have an eye for color. Whether you like the color
pink or not, hues of pink are satisfying to the eye and compliment well. Even if you don't like the color, I bet you look good in it. Don't you? Just
don’t dress like you hosed yourself down with Pepto-Bismol, unless that is the
style you are going for.
3. All gay men are
named Mark, Rick, or Steve.
This is true, on all accounts. If you beg to differ, then you’re
wrong. Mark, Rick, or Steve lied to you. They’re gay. Think about it, do they
have track lighting? Yep, thought so.
4. Lycra is your
friend.
If you plan on wearing something tight, I am begging you to throw
on some spandex. It just sucks everything in and holds it in place. You will
thank me later when the pictures are posted online. Also, give a big thanks to
Dolly Parton for teaching those her ways. You're welcome.
5. Cakes shaped
like animals are cool.
Seriously though. Cakes are the new fad these days. The weirder
they are, the bolder they look, the better. Nothing beats out the #1 spot for
most original than an armadillo grooms cake. A cake with gray icing and red
innards just screams for awesomeness. I want one at my wedding. That is only IF
I find a man that will put up with my uncanny character. Yeah probably not
gonna happen, I am forever alone. But that is okay. I will just call up Aunt
Fern to deliver an armadillo cake to every wedding I attend. Consider it as a
gift.
6. Mothers want
nothing more than their children to be happy.
This is true. Mothers have an indescribable bond with their
daughters. No other relationship can match it. Moms even love you during your
adolescent middle school days, where no one likes you and you don’t even like
yourself. This movie portrayed the mother-daughter relationship to a T. Way to
go Sally Field. Spoiler Alert – When Julia Roberts gets admitted into the
hospital, Sally Field never leaves her side because she is afraid that she may
wake up, maybe even just for a minute, and she won’t be there to hold her hand.
Mega-Spoiler-Alert – Then after Julia Robert’s funeral (My heart will bear a
gapping hole the day Julia Roberts and that smile passes) Sally Field is
overcome with grief and realization of the loss of her daughter and I just sob
with her. I look like a 5 year old that just had her favorite Barbie ran over
by a semi. Mothers are always prepared to go first. I couldn’t fathom the
feeling of losing a child. Steel Magnolias always reminds me that a great woman
has raised me. Much love Mom.
7. Big hair-dos
resembled football helmets.
I am sorry 80s fashion. You did this
to yourself. I am sure years from now I will look back at my hair now and say,
“What was I thinking?” But at least I can say that my hair never resembled a
football helmet. You can’t get much worse than that can you? Nope, didn’t think
so. On the contrary, Sally Field, you rocked that brown football helmet. Own
that up do, girl.
8. People will
love you, regardless.
Just
look at Shirley MacLaine. She may be the grouchiest woman that has ever roamed
the earth and puts us all to shame with her everlasting PMS cycle, but she
still has friends that love her. She comes in a close tie with Sally Field for
my favorite character of the film. One of my favorite lines of the whole move
is in regards of her oh so sassy personality – “Ouiser, you sound almost
chipper. What happened today, you run over a small child or something?” I
totally have my Ouiser-esque days, and I am not ashamed of it. Just keep this
in mind, if you ever think that no one cares for you, think twice, they do. If
the feeling of loneliness still persists, maybe you should turn down the
bitch-o-meter a bit. If you still have no one that loves you, and you are
saying to yourself right now, “I am not a bitch.” News flash, you are. Get over
yourself. No one likes a bitch, unless you’re Shirley MacLaine as Ouiser
Boudreaux.
9. Anne Boleyn had
six fingers.
In all honesty, I had zero clue who Anne Boleyn was prior to watching this film. Lets face it; the film was released
before I was even a fragment of an imagination to my parents. But at least after
watching it, I learned a great fact that could help me out with future trivia
questions. Watch out Jeopardy!
10. “That which
does not kill us, makes us stronger.”
We have been told this all our life, whether it was in relation to
death, school, breakups, or whatever else calls for the slogan. It’s true, no
matter how low we may be; keep on pushing because there is nowhere to go but
up. In the end, it will only make you wiser. So, if there is ever a time where
you feel the urge to throw in the towel, don’t. You will over come the
predicament at hand.
Steel Magnolias is a classic chick flick that will always reign as a top movie pick for myself. These women taught me valuable lessons that I would have otherwise longed without. Thank you. I will automatically judge someone on their opinion of the movie, which means, if you hate SM, I hate you. Get it? My future hubby will have to fully accept me watching this film on a regular basis, if not, you're as dead to me as armadillos grooms cake.
a little blury, but I love this picture of me and my mama
Come to think of it, my mother is the ultimate Pinterester. If we would all go back and relive her early 20-30 days, she would be a walking Pinterest board. Actually, I wouldn't put it past my mom that she herself created Pinterest. The only thing assuring me that she isn't the great Pinterest creator, is that she isn't the savviest social media mom on the planet. Pinterest is labeled as a social media engine, right?
My mother majored in fashion merchandizing in college, so you know she made a majority of her own clothes. So you know that if she can sew her wardrobe, that she is crafty as hell. Crafts is the highest level on the Pinterest hierarchy, and fashion falls a close second. She loves to read, loves it. If she can't read, then she listens to books on tape in the car. She is the poster mom for book worm. She cannot drink coffee fast enough and is a royal pain if she doesn't have a cup first thing in the morning. An iv drip of coffee should just be added to her daily life.
Then when is comes to food, she brings a whole new level of talent. She makes just about everything from scratch and canning anything comes second nature to her. My mother cans her homemade jelly (every flavor imaginable), salsa, corn, green beans, tomatoes, fruit, and more. You know Pinterest goers eat that type of shit up. If you can look classy and cook, you are an immediate Pinterest celebrity.
Oh, and she takes a crap load of pictures. Yep, definitely Pinterest material. She is what everyone aspires to be.
My mother is practically super mom.
I found this online and figured it was appropriate to share. Enjoy it. Love it. Learn from it.
"Dear Fellow Female Population,
Stop being such pussies.
Really.
Do you understand how painful it is for me to go on Pinterest with all of you bitches on there? I just want to login really quickly and find a good mixed drink recipe for the weekend, and I have to see all of you crying and complaining all over the place like being a girl is the biggest fucking travesty in the world and no one understands you. This goes for Facebook and Twitter as well. Why are all of my social media accounts clogged with song lyrics, passive aggressive insults, and inquiries on where all the good guys have gone? You are no longer emotional teenagers that don’t understand how stupid you look, so you no longer get a pass for this ridiculous behavior. Time to man the fuck up, bitches. Because, honestly, you’re all agonizingly dragging our gender to the ground. I’ve taken it upon myself to give you a list of a few simple things to do that will help you stop sucking so much. You’re fucking welcome.
1) For the love of God, please stop wishing that you could date Christian Grey. Apart from his sexual skills, he is one of the biggest pussies I’ve ever read about. Seriously. When Ana first described his dick, I literally spit out my drink, because I’d been assuming he actually didn’t have one. It took me by complete surprise. While I enjoyed reading most of the sex scenes, it was totally not worth it when the rest of the book made me want to puke all over my Kindle. I’ll just watch sub/dom porn and spare myself from all the Christian – Ana bullshit you all seem to be obsessed with, thank you very much. Why do all you ladies want someone who stalks the shit out of you and becomes weirdly obsessed with you and has a super gay interest in classical music? Because, let’s face it, ladies, you can pretend all you want that you’re classy like that, but we all know the last time you listened to Mozart was in your 5th grade music class. Get over yourselves. And get over 50 Shades of Grey. It’s pathetic.
2) Stop acting like being a female is so fucking difficult. “We get paid less, no one takes us seriously, blah blah blah.” Maybe if you pulled your heads out of your asses, people would take you more seriously. I’ve found being female to be one of the easiest things on the goddamn planet. Let’s start with the obvious one. Free shit. All. The. Time. You want to know how much I spend every weekend on booze? Just the cost of my cheap pregame bottle. Then I stroll into a bar, and let the drinks start flowing my way. Sorry, but I’d rather get free drinks from hot guys all night long then get paid 10% more at my job. And if you disagree, you obviously need to check your priorities. Another great female bonus? Sex. Guys love being dominant and you should love it when they are. It makes everything so much easier for us. They tell you what to do, and you do it. It always feels good, and you don’t have to think about anything. To me, that’s fucking awesome. No wonder so many guys have performance anxiety.
3) One of the most annoying things to hear is “Why can’t I just find a guy who loves me, cuddles with me, buys me pretty things, and will turn the game off to talk about my day.” Oh my god, do realize how ridiculous you sound? That’d be like guys posting statuses that say “Why can’t I just find a girl who will fuck me like a porn star every few hours throughout the day, cooks every meal for me, brings me beer when she comes home, and disappears when the game’s on.” Yes, it’s a nice fantasy, but that’s all it is. A fantasy. So stop acting like there is some guy out there who is like that, because even if there is, chances are he’s either extremely boring or gay.
4) Stop taking everything so seriously. You are in college. The fact that you all seem to be on some quest to find a boyfriend is just pathetic. Why do you want one? Now’s your chance to fuck the guys who are complete assholes, but you can tell they’re good in bed. Look past their douchebag frat-y style and attitude for a few hours at the bar, go back with them, have a great fucking time, then get the hell out and don’t talk to them again. You didn’t use them for their minds; you used them for their body. Realize that, and respect that.
Well ladies, I could go on, but I feel a little guilty for tearing apart my own gender, so I’m done. Think about what I said, though. And remember, every girl should choose a Christian Louboutin over a Christian Grey. Pumps over pussies."
I am sitting here on a Sunday night,
procrastinating it up like a pro. Actually, I am pretty far ahead in most of my
classes, except one. It's an 8AM so it's a rough one. So far this semester, I
am loving all of my classes, which include: Graphic Design III, Digital
Photography, Advanced Drawing, Health and Ethics of Society, Computer Literacy,
and The Study of Alaskan Eskimos.
Computer Literacy is a bird course I need as a gen
ed, that I probably should have taken my freshman year, but didn't. And as for the
Alaskan Eskimo class, I don't know what to think about it just yet. It is a lot
of busy work. Though, I am just taking it because it is an upper-level and I
thought it seemed kind of interesting. Okay, lets be honest, I need
upper-levels to graduate on time and it was the only one that fit into my
schedule that sounded like I wouldn't break my GPA.
The point of this blog though is to A. get back on
my feet in the blogging world and B. because I am currently writing my
roommate's paper. Well, she is technically writing it, but she is having me
revise it, and everything is borderline horrible. So, I am just rewriting the
whole thing paragraph by paragraph as she is typing along. I must give it to
her, I have never seen anyone try to hard and still write an awful paper.
I by no means hold my head high and think I am all-knowing grammatically
or a wanna-be-english-major. I am sure it shows in my posts. Actually, I may be the worst speller on the planet, better yet, universe. I am the worst speller of all time. However, I am
confident enough that I can, indeed, write a pretty compelling paper. Right now
she could use any help that she can get. And coffee, she needs a whole hell of
a lot of coffee.
I’m such a good friend. And I kind of like writing papers.
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